It’s official (and it’s something that’s been echoed by many people I know): Steam has ruined me. What was once a pathetic-looking bank account with a few spare quid in it has turned into a barren wasteland that wouldn’t look out of place in a gallery hosting pictures of ‘the middle bit of Australia’.
It all started out so innocently – and I know this because there is a function to check your previous purchases. A couple of years ago I bought the X-Com Collection for about £3. Not bad for two of my favourite games ever made and a few more shit ones. Then some others came: the sales had indie games, World of Goo was snapped up along with a dozen or so other no-name things that I bought out of curiosity. Soon enough the snowball had picked up enough pace to wipe out an entire village with the likes of the Ubisoft package turning up in the My Games tab. All of this was before those evil, vindictive shits in charge decided to go with the massive winter sale just a few weeks ago. How on earth could I resist the Eidos package? Torchlight for a few quid? Morrowind?
Obviously, I couldn’t.
Steam has turned me back into a child; it’s taken me back to the days when I would buy a game based on what it looked like, or what its name was, or just if it was cheap enough (see: Blast Chamber on PSOne for a prime example). The problem is, back then I had a controlled income and couldn’t live beyond these means. If I didn’t have the money there was no overdraft, no credit card to act as ‘free’ money for something I just wanted. Now, obviously, it’s a different matter altogether.
I should learn to control myself and all that gumph, but sod that: I hate you Steam – you’ve ruined me.
(I don’t hate you really I love you please don’t hate me sorry)
I could go on for thousands of words on this, easily, about how it’s not even the playing of the games that gets me – it’s just buying them. Getting them cheap. Picking up a bargain. Owning another classic. But I’m not going to, as freelance won’t do itself. And you can sod off if you think I’m going to actually get deep with this.
On the plus side, this does now mean I have a shitload of great games to work through for the next (few) year(s). And what’s that you say? King’s Bounty Gold for a matter of pounds? Well, one more couldn’t hurt…