Woe is me. It’s been at the back of my head for a while now, but things really came to the fore this morning. I realised that I’ve settled into a comfortable routine. In the past I’ve been fine with this, as my routine consisted of sitting/laying down and being poor. Usually while playing games or trying to make Anna watch things she doesn’t want to (films, you perverse morons. And not those kinds of films either – the classics, like Aliens and Terminator). That was an honourable, scummy routine any true bum would be proud of.
But I am ashamed to admit that I have settled into the lower echelons of habit-forming, on a par with smoking, crack and smoking crack. For you see: I have a particular seat on my particular bus in the morning. Obviously this has been true for a while now, but I only noticed how much this affects me when I saw someone – an interloper – sat in my place this morning. The other regulars know their places, they respect boundaries and it’s a mutually beneficial situation. But these outlanders come in and completely upset the balance, sitting where they want and throwing the whole thing into disarray. What do they think it is, public transport or something? Oh wait.
Regardless, it isn’t their fault that I have allowed this banality to encroach on myself, instead of truly living life to the fullest. This stark realisation forced me into something drastic this morning, when I had to sit in a different seat (one with no leg room, natch). But from now on, I make a vow: I will totally mix up where I sit every day. It’ll completely fuck with the heads of the other regulars and – you never know – it might inspire them to follow suit. Soon enough it’ll be anarchy on the bus: people sitting in seats they don’t normally; some getting off at stops that are one or two before their normal hop-off point; some even going so far as to get off a stop later! Oh, the potential for hilarity is endless.
One thing’s for certain though – we’re still not going to talk to each other or make eye contact. That would be ridiculous.