I thought I should give you all an insight into the thoughts that go through my head on a day-to-day basis. I can’t give you all of them, nor can I handily fill you in on everything that has ever gone through my head in my life – maybe tomorrow. For now though, I will present you with the selected highlights of my thoughts for the day. Prepare to be absolutely blown away by the mind-altering awesomeness of my… mind.
8:15am. Should I have a cookie for breakfast?
8:57am. Why is it so effing cold? THE SUN LIES.
9:02am. Why is that prick in my seat? IT’S MY SEAT.
9:06am. Ah, forgot my iPod. I wondered why I could hear that prannock behind me telling THE WHOLE BUS about her problems with her man.
9:07am. I cannot believe Gaz did that to her! She’s never hurt anybody! What a bastard!
10:13-11:59am. *We apologise for the loss of transmission. We hope this hasn’t hampered your enjoyment of this blog*
12:00pm. FUCKING HELL I’M HUNGRY
1:05pm. I want a jacket potato with beans.
1:05pm. Why the fuck did I ask for a jacket with cheese and mushrooms?
1:55pm. HATE YOU FIFA, FUCK OFF FIFA, SHIT FIFA (please don’t ever leave me FIFA).
2:00-4:30pm. *No thoughts, JUST WORK*
4:45pm. Why is this Yakuza 3 intro still going on?
4:47pm. I really don’t understand Japane… oh wait! Arigato! That means MR ROBOTO!
6:00pm. Home! No, wait – pub!
7:15pm. Hmm. I could cook a great deal of wonderful foodstuffs with the fantastic array of ingredients and utensils I have at my disposal.
7:32pm. Those instant noodles were great.
7:45-8:30pm. *Oblivion/mucking about transferring files time*
9:11pm. Why does Clive “Shit” Tyldesley call him “Alec” instead of “Alex”? Does he think he knows something we don’t?
9:11pm. In fact, why is Titsley allowed to carry on doing this job? He’s the worst commentator in the world.
9:11pm. IN FACT, why is Titsley still alive?
9:12pm. Leonardo comes across as a genuinely likeable guy.
9:13pm. I wonder if I have more noodles.
9:14pm. I should write my blog.
As you can probably tell, this has been a day of thrills, spills and all out action. I’m like one of those thrillseekers you see on tee vee – an adrenaline junkie. A man’s man who lives life completely on the edge. I know you find it hard to compete with me, but you should at least try. You’ll never beat my awesome-to-the-max lifestyle, but it’ll make you feel a little bit better in your pathetic existence that you at least tried.
And so ends the worst entry you have ever seen on this blog. God bless headaches.