“Election” sounds like “erection”

Click on the space where the image should be if you can’t see it. YEAH.

And that’s without even mentioning a “hung” parliament. Ho ho.

You may have seen in the grown-up (crow’n-up news) that there is to be a general election on May 6. What this means is that about half of the people in the country who are eligible to vote will go to some shack in the middle of nowhere, put a cross in a box, drop it in a different kind of box and move on, proud that they’ve done their deed for the day/five years. It’s also the day that people voting for real reasons other than ridiculous, blind loyalty (or just idiocy/racism) do what is known as “wasting their vote”.

Everyone knows it’s the Liberal Democrats, the Greens and some other minor parties that actually have the best policies for a fair, proper country. That’s not to say they’d have any way of implementing them, nor would they necessarily be able to handle the pressure of actually being in charge (we’ve all seen what happened to Tommy Carcetti on The Wire). But that doesn’t stop what is supposed to be a vote representative of the views of the populace keeping two main parties in power: the red tossers or the blue tossers.

Now, I’m northern. I’m from one of the most impenetrable Labour strongholds in the country. I value the rights of the working man over that of the fat cats and blah de blah de blah. But it’s as clear as the clearest of days that the difference between the two major parties comes down to what colour ties they wear, or if they bother hiding the fact they’re all about their monied friends or not.

My political analysis isn’t deep, clever or thorough in the slightest. It’s based on looking at a few policies before getting bored and reading something more fun. It’s also based on a gut-instinct to hate those smug Tory wankers. It shouldn’t be thought of as anything other than a slight venting at the fact that nothing ever really changes.

I had a point, I’ve lost it in the fury. I’m voting Green. Or: “wasting my vote”.


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