Sleep is for the weak. And me.

I like sleeping. Who doesn’t? Idiots, that’s who. But I like it a lot, mainly because I’m a big lazy twat who would much rather stay lying down for most of the day than actually move/leave the building etc. But recently I have been unable to enjoy beds as much as I normally do, mainly due to the fact that I seem to have an incredibly fussy body that refuses to sleep on anything other than the single most perfect sleeping implement ever made. Yes folks: I haven’t been sleeping very well.

But don’t run to the nuclear bunkers just yet: I’m going to try and overcome this with scientific explanation, rather than whine a lot about something that really, really doesn’t matter (not that the scientifical explanation does make it matter, but hush down).

So why can I not sleep? Well, the bed moves too much. The mattress is fine, but the actual bed unit underneath seems to have massive divots in it. It also makes stupid creaking sounds that sometimes wake me up. This covers the main why points as to why I cannot, as mentioned above, sleep.

What can I do to fix this? I have no idea. I need to leave the floor open to your suggestions. Note that suggesting a soft mattress to sleep on is not a fing what I can do to fix this. I hate soft beds. They’re too soft.

Finally: is this worth a blog post? Probably not, no.



Filed under Prattle

2 responses to “Sleep is for the weak. And me.

  1. Anna

    I empathise, my pillows are shit. Let’s get together sometime.

  2. Tom

    I don’t empathise. Not because I have no idea what it is like to sleep badly, mind. I’m just a psychopath.

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