You’ll often see lists extolling the virtues of many stand-up comedians. The most likely chaps on these lists will be comedy gods like Stewart Lee, Yanks like Zack Galifianakis, underrated gems like Sean Lock and “comedy missiles” like Eugene Mirman. Fair enough, but these people are now on every list everywhere, so there’s nothing new to be said now. Plus there’s the fact that people don’t listen to these lists and instead continue to support some astonishingly bad comedians. As this is the case, here’s a list of some comedians you shouldn’t like, as they are shit. All decisions are final.
1. Russell Howard.
A bit mean, as I do actually like the guy, and he is quite funny. Two things though: his act hasn’t changed – at all – in years, and live he gets boring after about 45 minutes. This is fact you cannot argue with.
2. Dane Cook.
For those unfamiliar:
Look at those idiots in the crowd. They’re actually worse than him, as all they do is encourage this utter waste of skin.
3. Peter Kay
Now, being northern I’m supposed to love this guy. I don’t. He has confused the art of observational humour with the act of ‘saying what things are’. Absolute lowest common denominator demi-comedy that would be the worst thing on this list were it not for the next entry.
4. Michael Mcintyre
The reason this list exists. The man is the least talented arse alive and so many people have been drawn in by his… by his what? Well, most likely by his astonishingly boring jokes, his hilarious camp mannerisms and the fact that he’s just a southern Peter Kay (see above). Stop supporting this muppet: I am a better stand-up than he is, and I’m not a stand-up. This tells you all you need to know.
5. Most female comedians
Wah wah sexist: shut up. I’m just being correct, as always. Generally speaking, female comedians (comediennes, whatever) are not funny. See: Catherine Tate, for a quick example. There are exceptions – Lucy Porter, for a second quick example – but there are far too many shit ones for a handful to redress the balance. So there.
And that’s that. Truth has been spoken, Ian has gone done said it all.