The internet is fun when people apparently murder someone, go on the run then end up falling off a cliff to their death following an eight hour stand-off with the police. Well it’s fun more times than that, it has to be said, but this has a combination you don’t get many other places: the initial story I read made me laugh, even though it shouldn’t; it involves porn; I used the power of the internet to find out some other things, and what I saw made me laugh again, even though it shouldn’t (again). Let’s explain.
It seems a man known as Steve Driver (porn name) killed another porn actor with a samurai sword – one Tom Dong (porn name) – then went on the run from the fuzz. He was surrounded in a rocky outcrop in Los Angeles, where there was a stalemate for eight hours as there were, presumably, negotiations and threats from both sides. This didn’t make me laugh. This is obviously horrible, mental and weird – and also gives you a great idea of the kind of people who get into porn. No, the bit that made me laugh was the outcome: the police decided to shoot Driver with a “less than lethal” round – you’re talking rubber bullets or bean bags here – which hit Driver and, as much as I can gather from the news, caused him to fall down the cliff and die. This is what made me laugh – not the death of the porno-sword-murderer, but the fact that the police thought it would be a good idea to shoot him with a ballistic object when he was doubtlessly stood in what most would call a ‘precarious’ situation. “Basic physics? Equal and opposite reactions? Inertia? Impact? Balance? This voodoo nonsense means nothing to me!” It has to be said, both movies and now real life, it seems, don’t go out of their way to show Yank coppers as being the best the country has to offer, do they?
Anyway, following reading this and laughing at it (then feeling bad as blah blah I UNDERSTAND IT IS BAD SOMEONE WAS MURDERED AND ANOTHER ENDED UP DEAD) I decided to see if this Steve Driver chap had any presence on anything like Twitter, or Facebook that I could see – see if there was a status update of ‘going to samurai someone’s ass off now’ which, frankly, could be taken numerous ways considering the line of work he was in. I ended up on his MySpace (remember that? Ho ho!), where I was met by two comments that just outright made me laugh. Again. Both from the same person ‘Kannin Chen’, they read as follows:
3 Jun 2010 03:46
oh shit steve, what the fuck…a samurai sword? really?
3 Jun 2010 06:26
you killed Tom? fuck you Steve…fuck you…I hope you burn in hell!
Now forgive me for being callous, but I am*. The first message shows us the reaction when this Chen person found out about the apparent murder. I don’t know about you, but this probably wouldn’t be my reaction if someone I knew enough to chat to on MySpace had done someone in with a samurai sword. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t be commenting on their page at all – call me old fashioned if you will. I’d probably be – at most – texting friends about it to try and find out what was going on.
But the follow-up message is pure brilliance. It’s a genuine, normal reaction that someone might have in this situation. It encompasses the disbelief, the rage and the passion for vengeance that someone might feel when a friend murders another friend (I say as if I know). I’ll ignore the fact the exclamation mark makes it sound like a happy or enthusiastic statement. But it’s normal, yes? Well, yes. Aside from the fact that it was posted on MySpace. Call me even more old fashioned than before, if you will, but I do think there’s a time and a place for posting things on social networking sites. When a friend has murdered another friend… well, it probably isn’t one of those times.
Anyway, that’s it. My entry today: commenting on a murder that’s less than a day old and laughing about it. This is what oneaday is all about, right?
*Appropriating Bill Hicks jokes for my own needs. I am cool!