This may come across as fishing for compliments. It isn’t. It may come across as faux-humility. It isn’t. It may seem disingenuous, false and downright twatty of me to say. It’s not intended to be.
I don’t think I’m a very good writer.
Now, I bring this up right now for one particular reason. I’ve had this post mapped out in my head for a while, but I’ve put off writing it up because I can’t see it being seen as anything other than an “oh look at me, I’m the unwitting genius” kind of thing. But yesterday I was complimented by four separate people who all said I am a “good writer”, and today I received an email telling me a children’s story I have written has been selected for recording on a website dealing in that kind of thing.
It brought the thought to the front of my mind and made me think it hard and strong once more: I do not think I am a very good writer. I find what I do to be very much by the numbers, I rarely make myself laugh anymore and I don’t try nearly as hard as I should.
I read things by other people – I won’t name names as I’m not nice enough to – and I see it as the kind of thing I would find impossible to even come close to emulating. I’m not an intelligent writer, I have little in the way of flair or panache about what I do – I find my copy very workmanlike. I don’t think it’s bad, but I just don’t see why people think I’m particularly good.
Still, I must be doing something right. So I reckon I’ll just carry on as I am. Maybe one day I’ll be ballsy enough to grow an ego. When/if that day comes, you’d better watch out. The few things I am arrogant about, I am fucking arrogant about.