I’ve never really been big on superheroes. Shocking I know, what with me being both male and a massive geek. But they’ve never really done it for me, beyond a tiny amount of interest and a bit more when the superhero movies got all popular and sheeit.
I see absolutely no appeal in Superman. He’s the cheat code of the superhero world, and anyone who likes him is clearly a prick (apart from you, Mike). What’s that? Insurmountable odds? Oh, he can just beat them by being better and inventing powers we didn’t know he had. And Smallville is shit.
Spider-Man? Irritating prick. Batman? Not a real superhero. Robin? Dislikeable tights. Fantastic Four? Not enough Jessica Alba. Plastic Man? I don’t even know who he is, or if he’s even a good guy. Wolverine? Too popular/Hugh Jackmanny. Beer Keg Man? I just invented him
In fact, the only one I really like is Preacher. Problem being, he isn’t a superhero. Also he didn’t use his power nearly enough, which was annoying. I mean, it was the Voice Of God – if he tells you to do something, you do it. Hence the “go fuck yourself” line providing endless hilarity. Hey ho.
Generally speaking though, most of these bastards leave me cold. Sorry, lost some geek points there I’m sure.
Oh, I also love The Punisher, but he had no powers. Just MASSIVE FUCKING GUNS. So I can justify that to myself.