I’m not even going to make a cereal pun here. Cereally (“SERIOUSLY”), I’m not.

There aren’t many feelings like doing things quite wrong on purpose. I don’t mean in general, or a collection of specific examples. In fact, I’m not really sure why I went with such a general introduction when I could have just outright said it*. Eating cereal outside of breakfast hours is a wonderful thing.

Two times this week I really couldn’t be bothered making proper food for tea (yes, I said “tea”. Shut up), so I opted instead for cereal. On one hand it’s a novelty anyway, as I rarely have it in the house – but having it in the house and eating it outside of regulation hours? That’s a fucking revelation.

I mean, it tastes exactly the same, and behaves exactly the same (i.e. fake Weetabix goes soggy, Cheerios get less crunchy etc.), and it’s not like there’s anything different at all about it. But… you just… feel different. It’s almost like it’s two fingers up at the establishment that dictates we must only eat certain foods at certain hours. Any time you eat breakfast at a time that isn’t breakfast time, you are helping to foster individuality, freedom of spirit and creative thinking. By eating Coco Pops at 6.42pm you are telling the world “I am me”, you are showing you cannot be put into a box (unlike Coco Pops), that you will stand up and have yourself heard and that you can be a force for change in this world. Conformity is for those who munch down their Special K at 8.12am. Living life to the full is for those who nosh on some Kellogg’s Start at 9.22pm. Join me, brothers and sisters! Join me and together we can bring down this ‘breakfast cereal must be eaten at a certain time’ hegemony and finally be able to live free and true to ourselves! Join me!

I mean, I could be going a bit overboard here, but that’s just what I was thinking.

*I am. I wanted to use up more words. Duh.



Filed under Prattle

3 responses to “I’m not even going to make a cereal pun here. Cereally (“SERIOUSLY”), I’m not.

  1. Ciaran Watkins

    To go one step further; not only do I eat cereal out of regulation cereal eating hours, but I eat it dry. That’s right! SANS MILK.

    Try doing it in front of any one you know without being thrown a look of utter confusion/disgust as they spit ‘Are you eating that WITHOUT milk?’. Yes. Yes I am. Take that society.

  2. Ash

    I’ll get some posters made up.


  3. I hope you’re going to cerealise future posts about your eating habits.

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