In about two hours time I am going to indulge in one of the purest sensory experiences the internet has to offer. I am biding my time until I can unleash, and when I do – oh my, it will be wonderful. For you see, I have my eyes on an item on eBay, and I’m going to snipe the shit out of it with seconds to go.
Over the years I have come to regard the internet as utterly awful, though utterly necessary. There aren’t many things about it that really fill me with joy, and in fact most of my browsing is done on autopilot. So it is that when seeking something – anything – to pull me out of this inter-malaise, I can always rely on eBay sniping.
For those not familiar with the terminology, I mean when you place bids on an auction in the absolute last few seconds. It’s sheer risk and reward – if the current bidder has placed a higher bid than yours already, you won’t be able to re-bid and beat them. If they haven’t, you steal the item without enough time for them to bid again themselves.
I actually do enjoy doing this, much as it may make me a weirdo from space with nerd hands and a geek face. But the fact of the matter is this: I once sniped an auction – I forget what for – and the guy whose bid I beat messaged me later to call me a bastard (in a jovial, grudgingly congratulatory fashion, mind). Any simple act of biding one’s time that can result in such barely-hidden fury is alright by me.
And no, I’m not telling you what I’m bidding on lest you rush in to ruin it for me.