I have a headache, so posting a complaint email I sent to Topshop’s customer service department a couple of hours ago will have to suffice for today’s entry. They are useless whelks and I hope they burn. No individuals, just the whole concept of Topshop.


I have just received the email quoted below. Seeing as it provides no reason whatsoever, I would like to know why this order has been cancelled. This is the fifth time this has happened now – four for my girlfriend, who has been trying in vain to make an order and now, as far as I can tell for no reason whatsoever, an order for the same item made with completely different details – i.e. mine – has been cancelled too.

What on earth is going on? I have money in my account, the billing and shipping addresses are present and correct, the card details were in order – I’m even on the electoral register, so it can’t be ‘proof of address’ nonsense I’ve encountered before. What is the problem? Why is this happening? Why are Topshop seemingly committed to not taking my girlfriend’s money?

Of course this does mean neither I or my other half will be using your site again to make any orders, such is the monumental stupidity of a system that bans legitimate buyers from making purchases. So please – no offers to placate or sort the order out. The issue has been raised many times before and it has never been sorted out thanks to some phenomenally poor customer service, so we’re beyond that. Your competitors win this round, because they’ll be the ones getting her cash.

I just want to know what in the blue hell is causing our orders to be cancelled? An allergy to Bournemouth, perhaps? Jealousy that the coat might look too good on my girlfriend? Maybe we’re considered too low-brow to be allowed to spend our money at the Mecca of classy clothing that is ‘Top’ ‘Shop’? Any answer is better than “YOUR ORDER HAS BEEN CANCELLED, CALL THIS PREMIUM-RATE PHONE NUMBER TO FIND OUT WHY”.

I await your response on the edge of my seat. No, literally – I’m perched here. My clammy buttocks are clinging on for dear life. I hope you respond before they run out of energy and I plummet to the office floor. Really, I do. Otherwise I’ll have another thing to be royally peeved about, and I’ll blame that on Topshop too.

Ian Dransfield

I haven’t heard back from them yet. Bastards.


Filed under Prattle

11 responses to “Topshop? MORE LIKE TOPSHIT.

  1. alison

    If I have a complaint in the future, can you write my emails for me?

  2. Anna

    ARRRRRRRRR-breath-GGGGGGGH! Tossers.

    That mocking tones of the last bint I spoke to still ring in my ears.

    “Well, what do you want me to do about it?”

    “Your job, you useless waste of life!”

    Not that I’d ever say that. I think I said something like ‘mimblewimble’ and then cried a bit. Thank you for being more articulate/less shit.

  3. Jen

    That image is disturbing. So very disturbing

  4. Pingback: 365/365 – but I’m not done quite yet | worthless prattle makes the world go round

  5. sandy

    Me too , Is no reason to cancel my order !!Yes!!MORE LIKE TOPSHIT.

  6. Jo

    I had an equally bad experience ordering online… grrr sooo annoying…. that place you call which pretends to be Customer Services is dogpoo. They can’t even tell which shop you’re calling for when you give your order number, they don’t call back, they can’t get me a new top delivered, they can’t process a refund properly…. what CAN they do? I know what they CAN do! ahhhh that’s better 🙂 xx

  7. Jo

    HATE TOPSHIT !! this is my story…..

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    Ref: Delivery complaint due to breach of contract

    On 05/11/2012 you agreed to sell me Stud Print Bodycon Midi Dress + Sleeveless Boucle Peplum Top + Sleeveless Zip Peplum Top + Crissy Dress by Motel**

    It was agreed you would deliver to me no later than the 10th. You failed to deliver. You never rearranged delivery nor did the delivery ever take place. However, I incurred loss due to your breach of contract.

    I called your customer service department on the 14th only for things to take a turn for the worst. I spoke to a staff member on phone after a 20min wait who was rude and non sympathetic. Your staff member was laughing over the phone constantly and told me that my order was damaged and I will get a refund !! I asked for it to be dispatched again and she said that this was not possible.

    At this stage I was furious as no one informed me that my order was damaged and that it will never actually be delivered, I gave up and just requested for my refund to be processed ( I was informed this would take no longer than 5 working days).

    Today the 21st checked my account and no refund has been processed, I called your customer service centre and again after a 15 min wait spoke to one of your advisers to be told that it takes up to 28 working days for a refund ! I could not believe my ears, I explained that I was told 5 working days and this was not the refund policy all over the UK ? how could you possibly expect me to wait 28 working days before a refund is processed ?? Asked to speak to a manager and was told that there is no one available but someone will call me back by 5 pm today the 21/11/2012. It is now 10 pm on the 21/11/2012 and no call.

    After this experience the Topshop brand has been completely tarnished for me, I will never purchase anything from Topshop ever again and make sure everyone within my social circle and all facebook friends to be fully aware of this.

    I will also make an official complaint to the trading standards about the disgusting manner in which I have been treated. It is now 16 days since my first order and I am still without my items nor refund.

    Therefore, I am hereby making time of the essence and giving notice that unless the item is delivered to me no later than 5 working days I will treat you as having repudiated the contract and call on you to refund all sums I have paid you, together with damages for breach of contract. This will include my expenses in having to buy the same goods elsewhere, and any amount in excess of the price I paid to you.

    I want to be compensated for the time and stress that Topshop has caused me, including all the phone calls that I had to make you have one final chance to make this right and hope I wont be let down again.

    I look forward to your response within the next 14 days.

    Yours faithfully,


  8. Ashley

    Bahahahaha! Glad to know I’m not the only one who was royally pissed off by this purely shitty company, and they will hopefully lose an exponential amount of money in turning the willing to shell out cash customers that we were, into bitching, complaining, and loathing of topshop (and their infuriating customer service dept.) individuals we are now.

  9. courtney

    what i the email to complain? Im sick of it

  10. Sexy_chick

    i worked in topshop last couple of months and seriously the managers r a bunch of racist twats….i am in my mid 20s with 3 years retail experience and i started work with students…they were kept on and 2 of them had no experience in retail at all ….while me i wasnt left on……totally unfair and disgraceful….this is the whiterose store in leeds…a manager called julie…who was obviously old and retarded and cudnt hack a young lady getting attention….wish i cud jus punch u in the face…biatchhh!!!! LOOOL (i feel abit better now)

  11. Steve

    My teenage daughter ordered several items from the Top Shop website. She wanted to buy herself some clothes from the money which she had for her birthday. However, the skirt didn’t fit her so I need to return the item of clothing to Top Shop by post (double asterixed item!). It’s not rocket science, however, when following the instructions on the back of the despatch note, I could go no further than `create a return’ due to buffering on their web site. Hence, I could not obtain a `returns number.’ I called their customer service (what a joke!!) on several occasions, but no one answered the phone …so frustrating!!! I’ve sent countless emails, only to be met with an impersonal automated service.
    I will not order anything else by post from Top Shop and I would like to pass on my experience to others.

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