It’s hard to find the right words

Dear LOVEFiLM,

I am writing in response to your letter dated… well, not dated. But I got it in the mail today. It’s taken me a while to think of the words – about half an hour – but I reckon it’s about time to lay it all out there. To clear the air and set some things straight about our relationship.

Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of your revisionist views on what we were. I’m sorry, and I know it must hurt you to hear this, but we were never an item. I know you’ll find it hard to believe that I’m not going out of my way to inflict undue misery on you, but really – I’m not. The last thing I want is for this to be any harder for you than it has to be. But please understand – the truth is sometimes hard for us to accept.

We were together for less time than you seem to think. We were together for less than a year. Less than a month. LOVEFiLM, we were together for less than an hour. It may be your first relationship – that’s what it seems like to me – but I don’t think it requires you to send me a letter begging me to return to you. You can offer all the bribes you want; all the concessions and ‘favours’ you want, but it doesn’t change the fact we never really were an item. I’m sure you’re just confused. I hope this is so, and I hope one day you will come to accept that we weren’t ever anything. Especially not anything worth writing to me about.

I hope one day you will come to realise that I have not written this to hurt, embarrass or upset you in any way. While I stand by what I have said, and there is no chance for a future between us without huge changes in how you approach our relationship, I still care about your well-being. In the future, when things have died down and you have a tighter grasp of the realities as they stand, maybe we can see where we both are – maybe we can work something out.

But for now and for the foreseeable future, I don’t see us being together. That’s the long and short of it.

Take care of yourself,
Ian Dransfield

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3 Comments

Filed under Prattle

3 responses to “It’s hard to find the right words

  1. Anna

    Oh, handy. You can recycle this (with a few minor edits) when you eventually dump me.

  2. Aaron

    What happened to the hilarious Marvel-Vs-Capcom-for-real entry? And is now, on the eve of it coming to PS3, really the time to worsen your relationship with LoveFilm? You’re absurd.

    • I thought the letter cleared up the fact that I never had a relationship with LOVEFiLM.

      As for the other one, it either needs more thought put into it or… well, any thought put into it. Especially as my Marvel knowledge ain’t great.

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