I have just seen an advert for the worst thing ever. It’s not the Flash ONE FOR ALL (Muskehounds edition) with its blatant rip-off of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s music*, oh no. No, this was an advert for a board game.
Yes, it’s November, which means the Christmas adverts have started. Surprisingly I’m not a fan of that – I bet you expected otherwise. YOU REALLY DID. But I can handle it. I don’t watch TV too much, though I have found myself turning it on more often since I got the new telly with its actual ability to receive TV signals. Anyway, I digress.
Right, on message: I saw an advert for a board game, and I’ve forgotten what it was called because it’s taken me so long to get here, but it was something imaginative like The Logos Game. And it is… well, it just is that. It’s a game about logos. It’s a game that makes sure you know logos of products. It’s a test to make sure the families of today are suitably indoctrinated enough to know and realise the bright, colourful identifying images associated with brands. Of products. Of stuff you buy. Things that only exist to be sold to you and serve no other purpose.
This is a game.
This is a game you are expected to buy.
To buy so you can sit around remembering logos of products.
Remembering the logos of products that only exist to be sold to you, to make more money from you.
To make more money from you after you’ve already spent money buying this board game in the first place.
No hope. No hope.
*I am well aware the music is actually free, stock music for anyone to use, pretty much. I am not that stupid.