If one more person reacts to something bad I say about life, living, people, things, world news or anything with a remark in the realms of “oh, that’s bad” then I might kill the shit out of them. I know it’s bad. It’s a bad thing I’m saying, I don’t need to be told again that it is what it is, you mindless twerps.
I’m fine with a shallow, simple remark in response – a sharp “jesus!” or the infinitely eloquent “oh fuck!” – so don’t worry, most of you now know how to remain safe in front of my stabbing arms. You have been warned of the bad thing I will do. Which is bad. Feel free to tell me it’s bad.
It’s almost, but not quite, as bad as when somebody will tell you something is funny. When it’s clearly funny. Especially after you’ve just said it to them and you’re down on record as being A Funny Person. Do not tell me “that’s so funny”. I know it’s so funny, that’s why I fucking said the ‘funny’ words in the first place. Were you raised in an environment where the only positive reinforcement that was ever given was to tell the person directly to their face that what they have just done is what they have just done?
Twat-bot: “YOU HAVE JUST BEEN FUNNY!”
And as for demanding you take one bite of a meal someone has cooked for you before turning to the chef and saying “OH WOW THAT’S DELICIOUS WELL DONE YUM YUM YUM!” just… I don’t know. Fuck off, or something. I eat the food put in front of me. That’s my compliment. If you’re so desperate for validation enrol in fucking therapy or something. Fuck social norms right up their stupid shit face. Cocks.
I hate you all.