I have a 3DS in my hands right now. Well, next to me because I had to put it down so I could type. It’s not mine, it’s work’s, but it’s here with me right now. Does this make me cool? It is the most pre-ordered games machine in Amazon’s history, or something, so it must make all the children and middle-aged women love me. Right? RIGHT?
Anyway, this is the third or fourth time I’ve dicked about with one of these little future-boxes. For those not in the know, I shall do my traditional explanation here. It is a Nintendo DS – you know what they are, you’ve probably got one for your cooking things and your Sudoku things and your fitness things and your dog things and all your other shit things that aren’t real games. It’s one of those, but the top screen on it outputs in 3D.
You don’t have to wear glasses, it just beams the 3D rays directly into your squidgy, tiny mind. Basically it’s voodoo in handheld console form. What does this mean? Well, it means you can now play your cooking things and your Sudoku things and your fitness things and your dog things and all your other shit things that aren’t real games – IN 3D. See? The future is now.
I’m sure you all care what I think of it, and even if you don’t I want to pad this out a bit more before I post it. It’s heavier than I expected, to the point that I can see it causing wrist fatigue in the weaker of its users. Me, then. Also the 3D hurts my head after about half an hour, which can’t be good. Screw you, future – I hate you anyway. Other than that, I need to wait until it has some games I care about until I buy one of my own.
Oh no wait I have one pre-ordered and have done for months. OPPS.