I had a long-overdue Wikipedia session earlier, starting on something arbitrary and ending up on something utterly ridiculous compared to what I started on. Basically it’s the most fun you can have, ever. Ever. Fact. Science said so. Science I just made up in my head. What I ended up on was the page on the Tsar Bomba.

“What’s the Tsar Bomba?” you all cry in unison*. It’s the single most powerful weapon ever detonated by humanity. It’s the kind of thing nightmares are made of, basically. Obviously it wasn’t blown up anywhere near people, otherwise we’d all know a lot about it today. Either that or we’d all be dead today. But it’s both intriguing and terrifying in equal measure.

Nuclear weapons exist today, which is always a fun thought that definitely shouldn’t be the kind of thing that makes you question why some people are allowed to be in power or anything. For many reasons on both sides of many arguments. The ones in service are, from a quick check, about 1.2 megatons. They can fuck shit up. They’re a lot bigger than the shit dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

The Tsar Bomba was 50 megatons. In fact, it was actually 100, but the Russians basically crocked their own bomb so they wouldn’t end up killing the pilots dropping it and raining fallout down on their own people. That’s… well, that’s ridiculous. And scary. And stupid. I mean, what was the point? So it was the Cold War. And? All it fucking boiled down to was willy-waving on a stupendously ridiculous scale.

“Oh lads, I’ve made a new bomb. If we drop it on Paris then Paris won’t be there anymore!”

“Good job Alan!”

Screw that.

*As in ‘all together’, not the union folks.


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