Locked out from my one true love* (*This is a lie. I mean ‘credit card’)

Speaking of first world problems, which I know we all are all day everyday because we’re such a bunch of pathetic whining runts (especially me) – I’ve lost my login details for one of my banks/credit cards/internets things. Yes, “one of”, get over it.

What this means is I can no longer get into that bit behind the secret, highly-protected wall of protected secrets and see how big the number is that said bank still expect me to pay off in my lifetime (ha! The fools). I feel so naked, yet so calmed. So locked out, yet so utterly released. So much like I’m lying right here about whatever it is I’m saying I feel. It’s a bit annoying is what I mean. Hmm.

On the other hand this does mean I can’t see how massive the number is attached to said card, so I can’t find myself falling into an abyss of money-induced depression. You know, like money is supposed to do to everyone alive apart from those who get millions for being absolute cunts. Wait, what? Sorry, got a bit off topic there. Must get around to raping some kids in order to make my first million. Seems to be how it works.

But yes, that’s my big news. That’s something worth blogging about. That’s something that, if you’ve got this far, you’ve just spent some seconds and possibly minutes reading about when you could have been doing something far more interesting or valuable with your time. I hope you’re happy. Now you know I can never again access my credit card details online. EVER.

Naturally I can just ring them up and sort all of this out, but that’s soooo much efforrrrt. Also it’ll take about 30 years for the card to be paid off at this current rate, so no rush. They might go out of business in the next few months, meaning all my debt would vanish. What a wonderful world that would be.


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