I have a little freezer in my fridge. It has been frozen over since I moved down here. I tried once to hack the ice out, but didn’t make much progress. Today I set upon it with a hammer to try and devastate its stupid monkey face. I made more progress than hackageddon, but less than I would have hoped. Turns out ice is more resilient than I gave it credit for. Don’t know what those global warming fools are on about – if anything ice is evil, and is definitely trying to take over the world.
It must be stopped.
Anyway, while sipping on my can of Coke I discovered abandoned in the fridge, I came to the realisation that I’m probably better off without a freezer. What would I do with it? Fill it with Birdseye Potato Waffles, that’s what. And maybe some peas. Not having a freezer avoids the simple, BEIGE foods temptation and forces me to get fresher stuff, which tends to be better for you.
So well done not having a freezer. Though I suppose I could just store waffles in the fridge. It’s not like they’re instantly going to go off. Just have a week or so to eat them. Nom nom nom. I want waffles now.
I can hear you all screaming “but Ian! You liar! You can use the main freezer in the house’s shared kitchen!” and you would be right to scream that at me. At the same time you’d also be a douchbag from hell, as you clearly don’t understand I want to keep my time in the communal areas of this house to an absolute minimum. Otherwise I run the risk of having a conversation with that thing that lives here.
And that would be a fate worse than the evil ice taking over the world.
Bet you’re glad you get two of these today.