Whenever I have been hungry, you were there, waiting for me with your steaming sloppiness that doesn’t really taste of anything I would call ‘real’.
Whenever I was too down to care about cooking properly, you were there to make it easy for me not to die. Though admittedly your nutritional value isn’t exactly what anybody would call “nutritionally valuable”.
Whenever I was so confused I couldn’t possibly think what to cook and so had to resort to something stupid, crap and simple, you were there. You’re more effort than something like a Pot Noodle though, so you’re certainly not the best option.
Whenever I was simply too lazy to cook anything other than you, you were there. Just like today then, really.
Whenever I wanted to put together a bunch of leftovers into something but had no base element to justifiably make a ‘meal’ out of it, you were there to be just that base element. Though this usually meant lots of ham and cheese mixed in with you.
Whenever I really fucking wanted some Super Noodles, you were there. Because I wanted you, and you were what I wanted, and you were there.
So thank you, Super Noodles, for making my life so much more… well, for making my life that bit… well, I suppose you made my life… hmm. You didn’t really do much. But you’ve always been there.
Unless I’d forgotten to buy you, obviously. Then you were just a letdown, like everything else in life.