I read this on the Grauniad earlier today and found it really rather captivating. It reminded me of the stories about ‘heroes’ in the Second World War who, when they were tested or reviewed later on, were found to generally be psychopaths. Mainly because they had no fear, nor did they care what happened to themselves or others.
Anyway, turns out there’s a standardised test to see if you are indeed a psychopath. Which is hilarious – it’s like all those other internet test things we all do, except if you get a high score it doesn’t mean you’re a space lion from the web or whatever. No, it means you’re a danger to society.
Naturally, I’m going to demand you all take the test. Mark yourselves on each of these things about your personality, 0, 1 or 2. 0 being least true and 2 being most true. Add up the numbers. If you score 30 or above, you are a psychopath. I, for example, scored a rather pathetic 12.
Item 1 Glibness/superficial charm
Item 2 Grandiose sense of self-worth
Item 3 Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
Item 4 Pathological lying
Item 5 Cunning/manipulative
Item 6 Lack of remorse or guilt
Item 7 Shallow affect
Item 8 Callous/lack of empathy
Item 9 Parasitic lifestyle
Item 10 Poor behavioural controls
Item 11 Promiscuous sexual behaviour
Item 12 Early behaviour problems
Item 13 Lack of realistic long-term goals
Item 14 Impulsivity
Item 15 Irresponsibility
Item 16 Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
Item 17 Many short-term marital relationships
Item 18 Juvenile delinquency
Item 19 Revocation of conditional release
Item 20 Criminal versatility
Oh and if any of you do score over 30 then you’re my favourite friend/reader.