Ian’s 2011/12 budget

Right, starting next week I’m going to budget properly. Or something. Like an adult. I’m two months shy of my 28th birthday and I still have all the financial awareness of a whelk that’s particularly poor with its cash. Debts are annoying and not getting smaller, but as it’s my own fault I should make an official list on weekly/monthly expenses. Let’s see…

Underpants: £23 per month

Beef: £45 per week

More underpants: £13 per month

Bus pass: £nothing, I walk bitches

Bus pass: £52 per month, I changed my mind

Yet more underpants: £34 per week

Essentials (Haribo, rum etc): £400 per month

Rent, bills etc: £can’t be arsed paying them anymore

Amount I’m not taking this seriously: £lots

With this plan, I will be able to save about £2.34 a week. In just a matter of one or two months I will have enough to pay off all of my monumental debts. Don’t doubt me on this – I got a B at GCSE maths.

Then again, I might just not bother and live just above the bread line for the rest of my life. My own doing it be, my own complaining it be – I just needed something quick to write about and this is what was on my mind.

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