I cannot believe I went for so long without pyjama bottoms. I used to wear them as a child, but then opted for the simpler, quicker choice of simply sleeping in my pants. I even had a period of (MENTAL IMAGE ALERT) sleeping wang-loose through the long, lonely nights.
But at some point around five years or so ago, for some reason I genuinely don’t remember, I bought me some PJ bottoms. Turns out they make everything right with the world – comfortable and casual, they show off your attitude of “yeah, I’m not in bed, but I’m wearing them. Wanna fight about it?”
Boxers are somewhat restrictive towards leg movement, and seeing as I’m well known for my awesome spin-kicks while I’m asleep, I obviously can’t like with this kind of restrictive fabric around my thighs. No such troubles with the loose and free world of pyjama bottoms.
In fact, I’m tempted to become a hippie so I have an excuse to wear PJs all the time. I can pretend they’re made from hemp and an eighty year old woman called Moon Mooning Moonson knitted them with organic knitting needles (made from hemp). Then I can wear pyjama bottoms all the time, and the world will be better for me.
Three points to whoever guesses what item of clothing I’ve just put on.