I talked about it earlier in the week, I think (as if I can be bothered checking), but today I began the new workout schedule that will make me stop being non-buff and make me start being buff.

That is, as long as it stops hurting me like it has today. Turns out stopping exercising for ages then just suddenly starting again – pushing harder than you’ve ever pushed before – isn’t the kind of thing your body likes. Stupid weak girlish arms.

And thighs.

And back.

And miscellaneous.

Anyway, one day down, 29 to go. Shorter than my nine-week stint earlier in the year, but definitely harder from what I’ve seen today. Also more annoying, less responsive to your actions and far more repetitive. Three separate sets of press ups? Really? Is that necessary? MIX IT UP, UFC PERSONAL TRAINER.

So now I’m aiming to put at least a bit of muscle on, I need some top tips. I really could just message Miller and ask him, as he is literally a bodybuilder, but I don’t want to get 35 pages of diet and nutrition tips when I’m probably going to ignore them anyway.

  1. Are potatoes good? I have loads left to eat, you see.
  2. Is tuna good? See above.
  3. How much chicken is too much chicken?
  4. Same question again, only with egg.
  5. Am I likely to win this competition if I only get one, massive bicep?

Answer me these questions and I will love you forever. Or at least just hate you less.


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