I am now officially a Luddite

I’ve been whining about it a fair bit since about 1905 hours, but that’s because I’m pissed off about it. Hence I’m allowed to whine. Turns out that technology, when operated in the manner in which it is meant to be operated, doing exactly the job it is meant to do, when in good condition and high of battery level – when all of that combined, when you see no problems, when it’s never let you down before – that’s when the fucking thing will break.

As such, I have decided to give up all technology. I will become a Luddite. I will no longer give myself over to these robotic bastards that try to dominate our lives. For too long we have been reliant on technology – from the makeshift hammering tools that helped our Homo Erectus forebears become the people we are today to the automated wanking machines you definitely don’t see all over the internet.

I’m making a stand. No more will I use the things that make my life easier, because I know I cannot rely on them. They will only let me down, piss me off and cost me money. Sure, they might help sometimes – but only when it suits them, the motherfuckers. “Oh, look at me, I’m a dictaphone and I’ll decide not to work now.” Cock.

I mean, I’ll probably still use computers, because otherwise I’d be really bored. And games consoles, for the same reason. And I’d need to keep my TV to cover the console thing. And all the added bits and bobs I have around to augment and improve my gaming, computing and TV-watching experiences. And I’d need to keep hold of my phone, because I know how shit it is to not have a phone.

Also I’d want to keep all the other miscellanea, because I hate not having stuff and I’m too selfish to give it away. As well as too lazy to bother selling it all.

But yeah, definite Luddite. I’ll use the Conkies from Fist Of Fun as my inspiration. I would do a link-o to a video, but I can’t find one.


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