I have a diseeeeeeeease

I’ve had a headache for months now, so being the masculine male from the future who is terrible at taking his own advice he happily doles out to everyone else (i.e. “go to the doctor then”) I ignored it. Then I got bored of ignoring it and instead looked up the symptoms. Annoyingly, it was the first thing that popped up on Wikipedia.

Yes, I’m aware self-diagnosis on the internet is one of the worst things you can do, but when there’s a list of all the possible causes of what you think you have (yes kids, it’s a tension headache. Sigh) and you genuinely, without even exaggerating a little bit, tick every box, it’s probably safe to Occam’s Razor the shit out of it.

  • Stress: usually occurs in the afternoon after long stressful work hours or after an exam
    – While my job isn’t stressful when compared to a frontline surgeon, a war bastard or a stress tester, it does have its share of pressured work. Also things outside of work contribute to this, though have tailed off recently.
  • Sleep deprivation
    – Yup.
  • Uncomfortable stressful position and/or bad posture
    – Naturally. I like to slump, unfortunately. And I sleep in the stupidest ways possible – ways my body refuses to bend when I’m awake. And I often have a bad back or neck or shoulders or all of the above.
  • Irregular meal time (hunger)
    – Yep, though not so much through the week, fortunately. I’m often hungry though, but that’s because I am a greed machine.
  • Eyestrain
    – Games journalist who works on computers all day before going home to sit in front of a computer all evening, sometimes with games on the TV. So, yeah… maybe.
  • Caffeine withdrawal
    – I get caffeine withdrawal between sips of coffee. I need to cold turkey this shit.
  • Dehydration
    – I tried to combat this today by drinking two bottles of water. It just made me wee a lot, which was really annoying. Normally I am the least-hydrated person alive, though.

So in these circumstances I do think it’s fair – right, even – to believe what the internet tells me about my life-threatening headache (that isn’t life-threatening though does appear to be somewhat chronic).

Painkiller addiction here we come!


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