SUIT UP

I remember, as a child, saying I never wanted a job where I had to wear a suit. I mean, I also said I wanted to be a dinosaur, that one day I would make my millions and I would never work in an office – so you can see I was full of a lot of shit.

But I never did want to wear a suit. So it comes to me being however old I am and owning Just One Suit. I own this suit as a result of the dole – I was offered an interview, I had nothing to wear for the interview, the benefits service offered me vouchers to buy suitable clothing from Burton in order to not look like as much of a scummer at my interview.

Yeah, benefits are clearly shit and serve no purpose. Idiots.

Anyway, if it wasn’t for this I would not have a suit. I have trousers, left over from when I bought some for £4 because they were £4. I have a suit jacket from Primark that cost, I believe, £12. It doesn’t match, but that didn’t stop me cobbling it together in some fashion. But it’s not a suit.

So with me not ever really having one and not ever really wanting or needing to wear one, I still find it odd that I can peruse eBay for ages looking at suits, being tempted to buy them and hovering over the bid button for ages. There is no good reason I should buy one, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting.

Suppose that’s less the suit’s fault, more the fault of my insanity.

I still want a zoot suit.

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