Loule (with an accent on the ‘e’), the definitive review (7/10)

It turns out that Loule (with an accent on the ‘e’) isn’t like all other Portuguese towns. Mainly down to the fact that everything in this population centre in The Algarve is made of cheese.

Alright, that’s a little bit of a lie I just made up because I swiftly realised I know nothing about Loule (with an accent on the ‘e’). It’s certainly some kind of town, and it certainly looks Portuguese – you know what I mean: sort of like it’s the third world, only… not.

Clearly the best element of Loule (accent, ‘e’) is the old people. Not just any old people, like the shit ones you get here in Bournemouth, no. These old people ratchet the class factor up a few notches by going into the town to sit on a long stretch of pavement where there are dozens of benches stretching the length.

Arriving in the town in the morning: they’re there.

Returning midday: still there.

Again in the afternoon: yep.

Late night, with the stars bright and the muggers out in full force: they haven’t moved.

Now, come to think of it, they might have actually died. Hence the lack of movement. In fact, that’s the most logical explanation: Loule (‘e’) is actually home to a mass suicide cult.

Well, was home to one. I think we witnessed its final days.

And there you have it – Louleeeeeeyeyeyeee is a lot less crazy these days since the legion of old people went and snuffed themselves out. Bless their tiny, old brains.

7/10

12 of 14 catch up entries to go.

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