Japan or chips

But, of course, it’s the one you’ve all been waiting for. The catch up entry you had started to fear might not be coming – the one that’s going to change your life.

Well, no, that’s a lie. You’re going to get bored reading it. Anyway.

I ate food in Japan, and it confused my tiny northern mind. I am from a town in South Yorkshire. I grew up on chips, pies, gravy, mushy peas, more chips, chip-flavoured ice cream for dessert and pie-flavoured chips. With gravy. Naturally this means my tastebuds are what you would call ‘refined’.

Heading to Japan (I went to Japan etc) I expected to be confused by food. I was not let down. Now I am shit and picky and annoying like that – I don’t like fish and, while I will try lots of things, I don’t actually like a great deal of things.

I am aware of how much this irritates people, but shut up. At least I try stuff.

Anyway, fish. Christ. Japan: stop it with fish. Exchange it for chips. And the seaweed? Well it’s not that bad, but you might as well replace it with chips. All those cow guts and hearts and livers you put in stuff? Swap them for chips, it makes sense. Sake? That’s quite nice actually, but you might as well switch it with chips. Rice is delicious and filling, especially with some good soss on it, but to keep with some kind of theme you should probably switch it with chips.

In fact, swap the entire landmass of Japan with chips.

CHIPS.

Those compacted mashed-up fish cakes with the feel and consistency of firm putty? Those were just weird. Swap ‘em with chips.

3 of 14 catch up entries to go.

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