Powerthirst 4, in a way

Some people really are determined to take all the fun out of getting high. Legally high, that is. We all know they’d never take the true joyous glee that is cooking up your next smack bindle (that’s what they’re called) to tit off in your flagglewanging (more knowing drug-speak, sorry).

First they invented energy drinks – I still remember not knowing what the fuck Red Bull was. I still don’t – and nor do the people who make it, seeing as they don’t really know what taurine or ginseng do. Anyway, it seems Pure Energy distilled into a small can wasn’t good enough, so they invented tiny energy shots.

Waste of time, waste of point. Ruins the whole ‘getting a drink and gratuitous amounts of energy’ thing.

Seems even that much liquid is too much, if this thing here is anything to go by.

Yes, it’s inhalable caffeine. You just take a huff of it and get ‘as much as a large cup of coffee’. But the thing is, I still want my coffee. Even if I’m in a rush/on the move/those other things that real people do in their business jobs in their business suits and business ties – even then I still want coffee.

Because coffee is bloody delicious and lovely and amazing and if I could marry it I would. I would marry the shit out of coffee. I think I’ve had too much coffee today. If you’re at a loss as to what you should get me for Christmas, just get me some nice coffee.

Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee.

1 of 14 catch-up entries to go.

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