I currently have The Future Of Videogames here in my house. I mean, technically I’m well behind the times as it’s Kinect, and Kinect has been out for ages. So it’s not really the future, more the now. But you know what I mean.
Anyway, it’s not the future. Something I have to move my sofa almost onto my bed in order to be able to play is not the future of gaming. I like just picking up a pad and jabbing the ‘shoot foreign men’ button. Speaking of which, I don’t want to use my body as a controller. I want to use a controller as a controller.
I don’t want to have to jump around in my room just to play some shitty game. I want to press X to stab the brown person who speaks funny. I don’t want to bump and clatter around all the stuff in my not-too-big flat.
Which leads me on to: I don’t like jumping and moving much because my floorboards make noise and, while it hasn’t happened in two years of living here, I still get the fear my idiot housemate will complain. That all comes back to a pathological fear stretching back to the insane scrubbers who lived next to us in Preston.
I mean, Dance Central 2 is great and I had a lot of fun doing the boogie on down on my own in my pyjamas, but… not all the time. It’s not the future. It’s part of now.
Can you tell I’m having to play a Kinect game right now? Yeah, that. It’s alright. I just don’t like having to move even after I’ve done my exercise for the day. Ah, laziness.