Festive season? TIME TO STAY HERE

As it is November, discussions have naturally moved on to the Christmas break and what the hell everyone is doing over it. I, for one, have no idea. Naturally going home will be top of the list this time around, mainly because I have nothing else to do, but staying here on my own comes a close second.

Because dear shitting crikey is it cheaper and less hassle. I can:

Get a train
£100+ and about six hours of rickety, shitty carriages that I haven’t complained about nearly enough in the last few months. So I’ll do a complain now: they’re shit and I hate them.

Get a coach
Brings the cost down to £60, but also requires I both sit on two coaches for a combined eight hours and that I end up in Rotherham. I genuinely do not remember how to navigate from Rotherham to Swinton. I will end up dead on a local bus somewhere, surrounded by youths.

Get a plane
Stupid times, end up in Leeds, works out about the same as a train, bad for the environment, fear of death almost as overwhelming as when you’re in Rotherham – it just doesn’t add up.

Stay here
Get some relaxation time without having to travel anywhere. Sit, sleep, finally finish the pile of games that need finishing. Well, some of them. I can cook myself Super Noodles (with ham as a special treat) for Christmas dinner… in fact, this is clearly the perfect option.

Go to Zurich and roam the streets
Oh wait – I’m not a psycho. Repeat it with me – I am not a psycho. I am not a psycho. I am not a psycho…

I’m clearly going to opt for the ‘hang out, play Nintendo’ option, aren’t I? Ah well, Christmas is bum anyway. I’m sure la familia can manage – somehow, some way – without my rapist wit.


1 Comment

Filed under Prattle

One response to “Festive season? TIME TO STAY HERE

  1. Ben Morrison

    Or come to mine as I offer every year!

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