There are a fair few things I don’t understand about Other People, and most of these things pop up when around housemates. I say ‘around’ as if I spend any time with them at all – perish the thought. I don’t know them and I don’t want to know them.
Mainly because of all the things I don’t understand about them, obviously.
I don’t understand why people feel the need to allow doors to slam. Doesn’t the loud noise startle them in some way, or make them think that maybe, just maybe, it might annoy other people in the house? Similarly, I understand even less the prannocks who slam my fucking front door every time they go out and my word I want to stab them to death with shards of the broken door whoever it is that keeps on slamming them leaves behind.
I mean… umm… it’s a little bit irriating.
Then there’s the cupboard slamming. I mean, once is bad enough, but why is it every time someone does it they have to do it four, five, six times in a row? And why does that prick down the road always have to idle his Very Loud car outside his house for about ten minutes before driving off? Prick.
AND WHY DO PEOPLE WALK SO LOUD?
So basically I don’t understand slamming. Or loud cars that don’t immediately go away. Or people who walk with stampy feet. Maybe it’s a need for attention. Which shows I crave no attention, as I quietly close every door I go through and basically sneak in place of walking.
That’s not on purpose, I’m just part ninja. THE BEST PART.