Wake a fish

If you had one single wish, what would it be? I think right now it would be for an opening to a blog that doesn’t read like I’ve just been on a site that gives you ideas for blog topics. I haven’t.

Really, I haven’t. It’s just a very bland subject that popped into my head for the reason you’ll probably find out if you make your brain put up with wading through this filler nonsense for a couple of hundred words. But yeah – you’ve got a single wish. None of that ‘wish for unlimited wishes’ bollocks and none of the wishes would be stupid monkey’s paw bollocks where they only come true in a bitterly ironic and twisted fashion (usually involving dead family members or being covered in faecal matter). Straight-up wish logic.

Would you wish for bigger knees? A really comfortable hammock? A chilled can of Coke whenever you have a hangover? The ability to avoid getting fat thus meaning you can eat all the shit you want to eat at any time? Liverpool football club to explode and never exist again? Kenny Dalglish and Dirk Kuyt to die? Sorry, I’ve veered into writing what’s on TV right now.

I wouldn’t. I’d go straightforward for my Just One Wish. I would wish as follows: that everyone alive and everyone who will ever be alive has a perfect life. Sorted. Everybody wins. Nothing bad can ever happen to anyone ever again, because everyone will have a perfect life. I haven’t thought through the logistics of this, but that’s not my job – it’s the job of that lazy fucking genie bastard. GET ON WITH IT, GENIE.

Well, I’d wish for that or a really nice toothbrush. Like – really nice.



Filed under Prattle

2 responses to “Wake a fish

  1. Amazing wish! Whenever I have a wish, like with birthday candles or an eyelash, I always wish for everything to be awesome for everyone. Hopefully if more folks wish things like this and yours, it might come true…

    • Yeah, I doubt it. Wishes don’t change shit, innit. I wish my dog hadn’t died, I wish this year wasn’t the worst year of my life, I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I wasn’t broke and so on and so forth.

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