I never did get that whole American thing of not letting young ‘uns have coffee. Probably because my ma would drink more cups of tea in a single day than most of you would have in five lifetimes – it was bound to pass on to me. Also it made me really good at making tea.
Like, really good. Obnoxiously good. To the point where people actually miss it when I’m not around to make them tea. To the point where Jack once gave me a nine out of ten (not a 7/10), and he’s a notorious shit with his marking scheme.
Anyway, we were once in a cafe in some Spanish-speaking country in or around Europe. I ordered coffee and a soft drink and the waiter questioned who the coffee was for, making the international sign of “you might inject it into your arm like smack” to indicate I wasn’t allowed it as I was too young. This was the first time I’d encountered it.
And it’s not like it’s had any adverse effects through my life, my excessive tea and coffee drinking. It’s not like I get headaches if I don’t drink five or six cups a day. It’s not like I think five or six cups a day is good, considering I used to get home from school and literally have ten or twelve (all with two or three sugars each). It’s not like I AM HOPELESSLY ADDICTED.
Sigh. The Yanks have it bang on.