Gotta get a dog, still

Unfortunately, Christmas Day contact with a pooch of hilarious… ness has made my desire to own a canine of the caninical variety stronger than ever. I am now trying to formulate a plan of attack for how I would be able to effectively look after a pooch of my own and not end up killing it.

Probably with a hammer (that I received for Christmas).

I work every day, I go fairly early and get back fairly late, so a puppy that needs attention is out of the question. I live in a house where the landlord is borderline insane and Very Unlikely to allow pets, so owning a pet in this flat is out of the question. Also I’m a broke-ass punk all of the time and dogs need you to invest in things for them so they don’t die, so being able to afford anything while owning a dog is out of the question.

Basically, it’s out of the question.

But I reckon there’s a way – I just need to sit down and come up with a plan. I’ll probably paint said plan, or something. But I need suggestions. I could quit my job and become a farmer, meaning not only would I be able to earn loads of money by selling my milk to Asda (don’t ask where the milk comes from) but I could make the dog a working dog and spend time with it so it wouldn’t feel neglected. Also it could hunt beavers for nutritional reasons, meaning I wouldn’t have to buy it food thus saving me time and money.

IT’S A PLAN WITH NO DRAWBACKS.

I might just build one out of soiled hammocks, though. That or re-buy Nintendogs. Hmm. There’s a way through this, I’m sure.

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