I’m only half kidding when I say I want Lego for Christmas, or at any gift-giving occasion. I mean, I don’t really want it because I’m unlikely to ever use it. The only presents I will use are things like socks, pants, mugs, coffee, food, games, hammers, dogs, beer, beef, beans, bees, beads and a few others.

But as a present, Lego is great. If I ever get into the habit of buying presents for people – likely children (not in a paedo way, I hope) – it will be Lego. Lego Star Wars, Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Pirates, Lego ALL OF THEM. Because they’re brilliant. It’s brilliant. Whatever.

Also, it’s not Legos. Stop that, Americans. Silly.

But it’s not just a nostalgic thing – Lego is genuinely great as a toy, straddling the gap between strict instruction and free creativity as it does. Make a pirate ship according to the hella long instructions, taking ages to get everything spot on and make sure it’s all spiffy and perfect.

Then when you make somewhere for the pirate ship to invade and ransack, just go a bit off-piste and make up some random shit. It’s brilliant.

And so much better than lame-ass Meccano. That stuff’s too prescriptive and – even though it can only work one way – it doesn’t even fit together properly half the time. Crap.

I got no Lego for Christmas.


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