This weekend I will make a cake.

I have not baked properly in a metric fucking ages, so I think it’s about time. Plus watching the Hairy Bikers is making me want to make something because this apple and blackberry steamed pudding thing looks incredible.

I would say maybe it’s my stomach talking, bored as it is with living off brown rice, potatoes, beans, broccoli and kale.

But I do think I owe it to myself to mix up loads of sugar and shit in a bowl, shape it into a recognisable cake-shape then put it in an oven for a bit. I mean, I don’t have any of the ingredients already, so I’d have to buy them. And being broke as I am, purchasing essentially frivolous things like this isn’t something I should be doing right now.

And, I mean, I’d have to use some form of specialised manufacturing tools (“a cake tin”), obviously. It wouldn’t be a proper cake without one. I don’t actually have one though, so I’d have to go buy one from Waitrose or wherever. Again, it’s a frivolous purchase that I really shouldn’t be bothering with.

It wouldn’t take too long to make it all, though – just a bit of a time investment. I mean, I can’t be arsed putting time into anything that isn’t sitting and playing games or writing the shit I have to write – like this. So I probably won’t actually put any time into making a cake.

So, actually, I won’t buy the ingredients, I won’t buy the equipment and I won’t spend the time doing it.

This weekend I will not make a cake.

I will sit in my pants and eat clemetines.

Does anybody want to bake me a cake?


1 Comment

Filed under Prattle

One response to “CAKE-BAKE BAKE-CAKE

  1. Make a cake! You won’t regret it. Cakes are brilliant Xx

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