The inherent selfishness of pretty much every single person in the world is a source of constant amusement to me. I am generally considered a decent person, though admittedly not by everyone, and I have been known to be unselfish in certain matters.
Not with money, I should say, as I always try to keep hold of that as long as I can.
Oh, and food. Don’t touch my food. It’s my food.
And underpants. I rarely share them.
But even with these altruistic notions of goodwill, generosity and equal treatment of any and all I still fall into certain traps. Traps like doing ‘unselfish’ things because they actually benefit me. Like thinking ‘I hope that person is happy with whatever they’re doing’ when actually I mean ‘I hope that person will leave me alone now’.
Is it possible to be truly selfless in an act? A question postulated many years ago by the finest show on philosophy that’s ever existed, Friends. A question that wasn’t really answered that well. Is it, though? I don’t know.
I’m nice to people because I think I should be. But for one thing I’m not nice to everyone, and another thing I’m nice to people because it means they’ll usually be nice back. Is that me getting something out of it? Yes. Meaning it’s basically selfish.
In fact, when people do things that can be seen as genuinely selfless – I think I’ve seen a couple of things here and there that would count as such – I see the person doing them as a bit of a fool. Yes, that means I’m a complete twat, clearly, but I do. It seems stupid to do something and get absolutely nothing back from it.
Still, whatever. I’m thinking aloud rather than making any point here. I’ve done selfless things. Of course it’s possible to do things and not get anything out of it, just for the sake of doing the Right Thing, doing What Needs To Be Done or doing something just to get a laugh. Well, no, that’s selfish. I feed off laughs.
I should do stand-up comedy at some point. Unrelated point, that.
I can only apologise for this blog. I am very tired and still feeling the after-effects of too much of the sauce last night. We are, after all, professionals.