Revealing your innermost desires: the Daily Fail at its finest

Hello I am Ian and I am completely incapable of watching all the films I want to watch in any sort of timely fashion. In fact, I am a bit shit at it and invariably end up watching things weeks, months, years after seemingly everyone else. Same with TV. Same with music. Less same with games, mind.

And yes, this very thing has happened with that movie that came out about 200 years ago, called Kick Ass. I watched it on (one of the) train(s) home yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. Very… entertaining, I suppose. So much so that I might actually enjoy it in a well-rested, not hungover, not travelling situation (e.g. at home, in the cinema etc).

But this is not to speak of the quality of the film. You likely know if you like it or not already, I’m not going to tell you what to think. Well, not today at least. No, I want to bring everyone’s attention back to something I read a long time ago and found utterly bizarre even without having seen the film.

This (WARNING: DAILY MAIL LINK) review made me laugh, as I said even without having seen the film. Now re-reading it it makes me laugh more and, frankly, confuses me.

It seems that Christopher Tookey, writer of the review, is seeing something most other people aren’t. And what he’s seeing is something that reveals a great deal about himself, it has to be said. I’m not intimating he’s a paedophile for saying Hit Girl is sexualised, especially seeing as she isn’t sexualised at all. Even the part where she’s dressed as the little schoolgirl she is treated as a schoolgirl, not as something a man wants to paedolise (new word).

I’m not insinuating he is seeing something that isn’t there – that he is putting his own mindset onto what he saw, and that his own mindset is that this is a sexy 11-year-old girl that he is having unclean thoughts about. Especially as he points out how disgusting it is that a male character on the film says he fancies her (then on having the piss took out of him for her being so young says he will wait until she’s of legal age).

I’m not implying that what Christopher Tookey says about Kick Ass makes him sound like it is he himself who is the paedophile.

I’m just out and out saying that’s what it looks like. It’s a confusing, hilarious review because it really does make the writer not just look out of touch, but like he wants to have sex with an 11-year-old girl. Sucks to be him, really.


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