I will never learn. Even though I am the age I keep on pointing out that I am, and even though this has happened countless times* in the past I have still let it happen again by virtue of being foolish.
Yes folks, I have lifted someone up while drunk and hurt my back. Again. In exactly the same place as it gets hurt every time I over-exert myself, don’t lift properly, tackle a target too big for my surprisingly weak frame or a combination of any/all of the previous points.
The lift was successful, mostly, and even resulted in the hilarity of someone suggesting the target be thrown in the canal. They were not. And I was too drunk to notice at the time that my back had gone done a hurt, so it didn’t put a dampener on the night. The morning put a dampener on the morning though. Bastard morning.
And it’s happened before. People are heavier than they look and I might not always think things through when I’m drunk, odd as that may seem. And it’s always funny to lift people up, even if you are as weak as previously mentioned. And picking them up and running away with them is even funnier.
You can probably tell I don’t regret this, even if my back is killing me right now. I will just teach myself. Learn from it. Work out on my back muscles and generally improve strength so I can lift freer and easier. Everyone will be lifted. Noone will be spared.
Well, that or I’ll just do it again and hurt my back again. But it will always be funny. Even when nobody’s laughing, it isn’t actually funny and I’m just being a drunken dickhead.
*You can probably count the number of times it has happened. Maybe even on one hand. But it’s still enough times to SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.