A sadness like no other – profound beyond belief and totally unexpected – came upon me of this eve. Approaching my homestead I was to believe it would be a post-work time spent like any other; seated in the favoured resting place of my buttocks, observing the day’s events with a backing of some televisual delights.

Or wrestling.

Either way, it would be nothing out of the ordinary. Unspectacular and bereft of events worth regaling the townsfolk with.

But happenstance would have its harsh way with the eve’s events, leaving a bewildered husk in the place where once was something resembling a man. He wasn’t much of a man – in fact somewhat childlike in his mannerism  – but he was, according to the laws of the local borough, a man.

And now he was less than that. And it was after he approached the cupboard. Opened that with which he used to store provisions. Reached in and pulled it out. And checked. And looked. And saw. And understood.

I have only one teabag left, and I’m totally out of coffee.

But it’s payday tomorrow, so I’m going to buy all of it. ALL OF IT. It’s a requirement, and I’ll probably die if I don’t or OH MY GOD I can buy loads off Amazon oh what a world we live in.

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