Ian’s wild and wacky week off

At the end of my adventure in being off work it’s only fair to report back on the exciting adventures I’ve involved myself in, the thrills and spills I’ve seen, the other stuff that I can’t think of words on how to say what it is. “The shit” works.

So here it is in a simple-to-digest diary style. My life is important: what I do with my time matters to you more than you would ever dare admit.

Monday
Sat in pants, played Mass Effect 3, drank about three litres of coffee.

Tuesday
Sat in pants, finished Mass Effect 3, suddenly got worried I had nothing to do, drank about three litres of coffee.

Wednesday
Sat in pants, drank about four litres of coffee.

Thursday
Sat in pants, drank about five litres of coffee, went to see Stanhope, drank enough to floor an elephant.

Friday
Sat in pants, drank about eight litres of coffee, drank enough booze to floor a drink-hardened elephant.

There were some other days, too, but they’re simply not exciting enough. What a life I lead!

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