Alien Resurrection: a case for the defence

Elgyn’s voice. Ron Perlman. A dirty horrible future where people still work shit jobs they hate. Yes folks, Alien Resurrection is on and I feel the need to defend it once more.

Alien Resurrection isn’t that bad.

Why? It does things differently. It tries to be something more than it had to be. It’s not successful, it – objectively speaking – isn’t a good film, per se. But boiled down to its constituent parts I think there’s more than enough of merit about it to encourage you swine to give it one more chance.

What could be a straightforward sex scene is a foot massage. What could be a traditional military man with no emotion is taken to its logical extreme: a man who shines his boots with flambéed polish, is startled awake and puts his officer’s cap on straight away, and takes time to do a cheesy salute after being forced into killing half a dozen of his own men.

Also he’s Cher’s dad on Clueless.

What could be the delightful pixie that is Winona Ryder is actually a robo-woman who doesn’t get drunk in boxing gloves (but does pretend to). What could be the action hero Ripley we’ve had built up in the three prior films is a confused mess of a woman (but also half super-being, let’s not forget). What could have been another foray into the evils of Weyland Yutani – the company – is abandoned for a different-but-people-are-always-the-same approach.

Check that against the approach of the Aliens vs Predator films. Check that against the imagination black hole that is those two films. And I didn’t think AVP2 was that bad.

Alright, so Resurrection’s human-xenomorph hybrid thing at the end is bollocks and it does mix up what the hell it’s trying to be half the time. Is it a horror film? Is it stylish and European? Is it a balls-out, high-budget action film? Does it know in the slightest? Just how French is it?

But it’s delightfully weird. It has a man who tries to get off with an alien, who later calls a really fucking bizarre alien a ‘beautiful butterfly’ while it slowly chews his head off. It’s not like a film any other director would have made for this series, and for that I can never think it’s as bad as many of you seem to think it is. It’s not always successful – in fact, it’s often not successful, but it at least attempts to be creative with a formula that could very easily have rested on its laurels and done the same thing again*.

Think what we have now for our big budget action movies. Think of the lack of creativity. Think of the fact there’s a fucking film based on Battleships in cinemas. Think of how devoid of any imagination something like Transformers is. Then tell me Alien Resurrection is truly, honestly a bad film.

Oh, also I watched it when I was about 14, so it’s pretty much ingrained in my character to like it.

*Ignoring the ‘why bother making it?’ argument. Because it happened, so shut up.

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