LOST: One memory.
Last seen somewhere around 7pm yesterday, Saturday the 9th of June in The Queen’s year of 2012. Beyond that it appears to have gone walkabouts and not bothered to update me on anything at all.
It has, however, left me with physical discomfort – so I know said missing memory cannot actually be dead, much as it might want to be. And every now and then it risks showing its face again, flashing through my head and making me go “ohhh, I had that many vodka jellies even though I hate jelly”.
It would also be ideal for said memory to return so I can ask it a few questions, like how much of my meagre funds it spent on this folly (looking at the bank: not that much, shockingly) or how it managed to get so blotto on so little money (clue: parties always have free booze).
But most of all I would like this memory to return so I can have a good sit down and natter with it, reminisce about times gone by (yesterday) and laugh about the idiocy my friends and I engage in.
So come on memory – come home. I’m not mad at you, I won’t hold it against you for disappearing like that and I certainly won’t punish you for it. Even if you do seem to hate me and want to see me suffer.
I’ll welcome you back with open arms and we’ll forget this whole thing ever happened. No, wait – that’s the opposite of what I want to do.