PLANET OF THE DOGS WOOF WOOF

Imagine if things weren’t just made of stuff thigns are normally made of. Like if you got a planet made of dogs, or a pair of glasses made of beans. That would be super rad.

But then, I suppose it wouldn’t really because you’d be used to the fact things were made of these what would be considered now not-normal things because they would be normal things to be made of. You’d be all like “oh a lawnmower made from cow and bat ears, yeah that’s so gauche” because you’d use words like gauche without a hint of twattiness.

It’s a different world, like I said.

So in actual fact if we lived in that world I’d probably be blogging about wondering what it would be like to be sitting here with a drinks receptacle made out of glass next to me, or having a plate made of… wait, what are plates made of? Voodoo? Hope? I forget. Probably Jesus.

These are serious concerns we should all have at some point in our lives. They’re the kinds of worries up there with the biggest of them, like when you wake up in the morning at 28 years old and realise you’ve forgotten the layout to a specific part of your secondary school. Or when you open the cupboard with nothing but cup a soups on the brain and end up making noodles by mistake. Or heartburn.

But one day, hopefully, with the help of others, of friends, family and those who just want you to sort yourself out, you can get through this and end up living your life to its fullest. On a planet made from dogs.

Or a car made entirely from lead, which I remember a mate at school once suggested not-jokingly. We all had a good laugh at that one. Fool.

Christ I’m tired.

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