A Game Of Thrones recasting exercise

Be warned: if you’re not thick you might see a couple of spoilers here.

I started watching Game Of Thrones yesterday, as I mentioned ten billion times to everyone who listened and plenty who don’t. Two episodes in and it’s great: working as a fine companion to the books and helping my brain form more realised faces of the people in it I either hate or who are about to die at any given point.

Just what a screen adaptation of a book should do – though admittedly I’ll still never let Spielberg off for making Alan Grant not have a beard in Jurassic Park.

But the casting is imperfect. It’s good, but it could be better. So I’m here to help with some suggestions of my own – the changes can be made between seasons two and three, as they’re on a break right now, and people the world over will thank me for it.

Ned Stark*
Instead of being played by everyone’s favourite bloke from When Sat’d’y Comes, Sean Bean, the lord of  Winterfell should instead be handled by the capable, robust talent that is Jason Statham. Think about it: instead of quiet, considered decency in the face of overwhelming selfishness and cruelty you could just have a cockney roundhouse kicking everyone. Bliss.

Tyrion Lannister
While currently played very well by Peter Dinklage – he acts so well you almost believe he really is a dwarf! – I think it would be better suited to someone with a real English accent, so I’m not constantly getting distracted when he drops into some fauxglishmerican. As such, I feel I personally would have to take the mantle. I can pretend to be intelligent and scheme behind everyone’s back – it’s what I do anyway.

Robert Baratheon*
While it’s good to see Mark Addy being in more stuff – and rocking a mean beard – the casting lot missed a trick here by not using the considerable talent, and beard, of one Brian Blessed. No more needs to be said on this count.

Daenerys Targaryen
She needs to be played by someone else because then Emilia Clarke won’t be playing her and so might be free to come round to play backgammon and drink tea. Because… shut up, I don’t need more reasons.

Sorry, I can’t concentrate anymore as I have Daenerys in my head. BYE.

*Shh – I know, I know.

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