Total Workout 9000 Plan

As I will be seeing some people I haven’t seen in a bit at the end of this month, I decided I will start working out as to impress them when they get here.

Naturally I don’t mean a normal workout, because that would be well lame, yo. No, I decided the other week that I would do a lopsided workout, concentrating on one side of my body – namely one arm – until the day people arrive.

Yes folks: I aim to have one arm noticeably bigger than the other. Why? Because it’s funny, that’s why.

At least that was my aim until a chum pointed out this film exists, and this guy is in it:

Which has sort of ruined my plans entirely. First, because now I know that exists I don’t find it as funny anymore, and second, because that’s an M Night SLHhalhsslaman film so it makes me physically ill and I need to go and lie down before I die from said sickness.

Maybe I’ll just work on one leg instead, though that would involve hopping to work every day. Suppose I need to do something to make that stroll more fun aside from trying not to fucking drown (well done, summer!).

Or I could try and work out a single buttock, though I don’t have the first idea where I could even start to make that work. Plus it would be less funny and more just sad, as if my arse had just suffered a stroke. Insert your own stroke joke, because I’m not lowering myself to that level.

I’m too busy laughing at the thought of bums. Tee hee! Bottoms!

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