I know I keep harping on about it, but seriously – this Olympics nonsense is getting stupider by the day. Well, maybe it’s been this stupid from day one but I’m only just realising, I don’t know. Hard as it is to believe, I don’t actually know everything.
But if you had told me hosting a collection of events where people run and throw things and jump and be quick would result in the government installing missile batteries on the top of blocks of flats currently occupied by members of the public, I might think you’re having a bit of a laugh.
If you’d told me the ancient sports showcase where some men and women be better than other men and women at doing generally brainless tasks would also involve companies being banned from selling chips because they’re not the official chip-selling company, I would have punched you in the face for telling such a stupid lie.
If you then told me that the London Olympic Games of 2012 could not be referred to in any derogatory fashion while you link to its website (it’s shit) by order of official LOCOG rules, I would have smirked slightly before walking off and thinking ‘they’re not even trying anymore’.
If you had told me that security for these events of dashing and chucking was at first going to be provided by people on Jobseekers Allowance – not paid any extra beyond their benefits – but thanks to public outcry against companies using what is essentially slave labour the security will be handled in large part by the British Army, I would have accused you of reading too much Orwell.
If you had told me that an event that is essentially a school sports day but on a bigger scale that gets more attention and adulation than any actual valuable achievement in the arts of sciences would, as a result of its overlords, have non-official companies banned from using words like ‘London’, ‘bronze’ and ‘summer’ in their advertising, I would have had you sectioned as you are clearly a nutter.
It’s a fucking joke, really it is. This is what happens when cunts get to do what they want and when the cunts who should be controlling it are cunts themselves, so the whole cunty mixture just mixes up nicely and showers us all in a massive pile of cuntism.