Fuck you, sneezing

I went on once about how it would be great if you could eliminate the need to trim your nails, because trimming your nails is pointless and annoying – well not pointless, but definitely a waste of time. Well not a waste of time but you get the point shut up.

Wow, I wasn’t even looking at the screen when I typed that.

Anyway, I’d like to add some other things to the list of Shit I Would Like To Get Rid Of In The Human Body. One of these is sneezing.

Now sneezing can be a strangely euphoric experience when it’s good, giving you a bizarre high that some idiots refer to as ‘a tenth of an orgasm’ or other such rot. Shut up, you’re idiots.

Anyway, sneezing in general is just a big annoying mess of mess. It goes all snotty and stuff and gets goo everywhere and oh I’m seeing the similarity. Wait, no, shh. Thing is I sneeze a lot, owing to hay fever, so I hate it and wish it would stop.

Also add stomach aches to that. Because they’re lame.

And watering eyes.

And that thing where your muscles involuntarily twitch, like my left thigh is right now.

Oh, and all the other things I hate.



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